A bus driver's candid observations have shed light on a troubling social dynamic: the stark contrast between a father's affectionate treatment of his daughter and a brother's cold indifference towards his sister. After a college trip to Murree, early in the morning, girls staggered off the coaches, fatigued from travel. Fathers rushed to hug them and carry their luggage, while brothers stood aloof, offering no help or warmth. This silence, according to the driver, reflects a deep-seated social embarrassment brothers feel for being associated with their sisters—a symptom of traditional tribal hierarchical prejudice against women.
The Roots of Masculine Chauvinism
The article argues that masculine attitudes towards women should be driven by respect and gender parity, not male chauvinism. Informal masculine discourse often reeks of condescending disrespect for feminine existence. The Sapir-Whorf hypothesis suggests that language shapes thought and perception; thus, respectful language towards women can foster cordiality between siblings in social settings.
An Incident at a Hockey Match
At a women's hockey match organized by the Punjab Chief Minister to promote the sport among girls, the author overheard two boys making unpleasant remarks about the players. A friend with orthodox views asked, “Would you like your daughter playing suchlike?” The author retorted, “Definitely, but what I don't like is the wagging tongues and wanton eyes.” This exchange highlights the need for a respectful masculine gaze that allows women to live and enjoy life as men do.
Media's Role in Shaping Perceptions
The mainstream entertainment media has largely neglected the theme of love and respect between brothers and sisters, focusing overwhelmingly on marital relationships. The article criticizes honour killing as a masculine prerogative, questioning why sisters and daughters are not allowed to punish brothers for bringing shame to the family. Parents must teach children that social respect is not gender-specific.
The Damage of Punjabi Theatre
Punjabi theatre, in particular, has dealt a severe blow to the sibling bond by making sisters the butt of obscenities and invectives in quips and puns. The article notes that as theatre increasingly disrespected this aspect of feminine existence, it neared extinction—and it did happen. However, the damage remains: the taboo attached to the feminine sibling still lurks in our social DNA. The lack of affability between siblings at home becomes conspicuously visible when they interact outside.
A Call for Change
Children are products of their upbringing and environment. Parents must brainwash their sons that there is nothing shameful in exhibiting camaraderie with sisters. Respecting a woman in one relationship teaches us to respect women in all relationships. Siblings genuinely love each other, but cultural expectations and hierarchical role-playing prevent their affection from translating into due respect and equal treatment. However, social mores are made by human beings, not the other way around—change is possible.
